Teens Cutting Themselves: Healthier Ways to Cope With Stress and Emotional Pain

For many families, learning that a teen is engaged in self-harm can feel overwhelming and frightening. Teens cutting themselves is more common than many parents realize, yet it is often misunderstood. While the behavior can appear alarming at first glance, it is usually not about wanting to die. Instead, teens often use self-harm as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, stress, or feelings of numbness.

Adolescence is a period of intense emotional and social change. Teens face academic pressure, social challenges, identity development, and emotional growth, often without well-developed coping skills. When stress becomes too difficult to manage, some teens turn to cutting as a way to cope.

This guide explains why teens and cutting behaviors occur, how to recognize warning signs, and how adolescents can learn healthier, evidence-based ways to manage emotional distress. It is designed to support teens, parents, and caregivers who want understanding and practical tools.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line.

Cutting in teens is a form of self-injury that does not involve suicidal intent. Instead, it is often used as a way to manage overwhelming emotions or to feel something when emotional numbness sets in.

According to the American Psychological Association, self-injury is a real and serious issue that many adolescents use as a coping mechanism to deal with emotional distress (American Psychological Association, 2015).

Is Cutting a Suicide Attempt?

In most cases, cutting is not a suicide attempt. It is a way for teens to cope with painful feelings. However, it is a serious concern that should be met with empathy, support, and professional care when needed.

This distinction helps family members respond with compassion rather than panic. Teens are more likely to open up when they feel safe and understood.

Teens who engage in adolescent self-harming behavior often struggle to regulate intense emotions. Common emotional triggers include:

• Feeling overwhelmed or flooded with emotion
• Difficulty expressing sadness, fear, or frustration
• Feeling numb or emotionally disconnected
• Desire for control during stressful situations
• Unresolved emotional pain from past experiences

When a teen cuts, the body releases natural chemicals that temporarily ease distress. That momentary relief may reinforce the behavior, especially when teens do not yet have alternative ways of coping.

Cutting can affect teens of any background or identity. Certain risk factors increase a teen’s vulnerability:

• Depression or anxiety
• Trauma or chronic stress
• Difficulty with emotional expression
• Family conflict or emotional invalidation
• Bullying or social rejection
• Isolation from peers
• High academic stress
• Exposure to self-harm content through social media

These factors make it more likely that a teen will turn to unhealthy coping behaviors as a way to manage stress.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains that emotional distress is a key factor in self-directed violence and highlights the importance of early support and intervention (CDC, 2024).

Behavioral and Emotional Warning Signs

Parents may notice:

• Withdrawal from friends or family
• Increased secrecy or closed-off feelings
• Sudden mood swings
• Avoidance of deep conversation about feelings

Physical Signs of Teenage Self-Mutilation

Look for:

• Hidden scars in repeated patterns
• Unexplained injuries or wounds
• Wearing long sleeves in warm weather
• Discovery of hidden razor blades or sharp tools

Recognizing these signs early makes a meaningful difference in helping the teen connect with support and care.

A common question families ask is, “Why is my son or daughter cutting herself?” There is not a single answer, and every teen is unique. What matters most is how the conversation begins.

Helpful approaches include:

• Choosing a calm time to talk
• Starting with concern, not blame
• Listening more than speaking
• Validating emotions without validating self-harm
• Avoiding punishment or anger

If conversations become difficult or emotional, professional guidance can support families in building communication skills that keep teens feeling heard and safe. Programs offering adolescent mental health support help families navigate these conversations while teaching teens healthier ways to cope at Big Sky Treatment.

Ways to Resist Self-Harm Urges in the Moment

• Use grounding tools such as holding ice or focusing on sensations
• Engage in physical movement like walking or stretching
• Create or draw to express feelings
• Practice controlled breathing or meditative techniques

Long-Term Emotional Regulation Skills

• Naming emotions instead of avoiding them
• Building routines to manage teen stress management
• Learning distress tolerance strategies
• Strengthening communication skills

According to KidsHealth from Nemours, teens who learn healthy coping skills are more likely to replace urges to self-harm with positive stress management techniques (KidsHealth, 2024).

Psychotherapy and Evidence-Based Care

Professional therapy helps teens learn coping skills, process emotional pain, and build resilience. The National Alliance on Mental Illness explains that psychotherapy includes a range of treatment approaches that can be effective for teens who self-harm, including cognitive behavioral therapy and skills-based therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy (NAMI, 2024).

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT is one of the most effective approaches for teens who struggle with self-harm. It focuses on:

• Emotional regulation
• Distress tolerance
• Mindfulness and awareness of feelings
• Healthy interpersonal skills

Experiential Therapy for Teens

Many adolescents find it easier to express emotions through experiences rather than just talking about them. A holistic, experiential approach to teen care supports teens by integrating creative therapies that help them process feelings safely and actively

Equine Therapy for Self-Harm

In equine therapy, teens interact with horses under guided support. This builds trust, emotional awareness, and self-regulation, especially for teens who struggle to articulate their feelings.

Recovery and resilience involve more than just one teen. Families play a vital role. Parental education, consistent emotional support, and aftercare plans help reinforce the progress teens make in therapy. Programs offering adolescent therapy provide structure and ongoing guidance for both teens and families.

Cutting does not define who a teen is. It reflects unmet emotional needs rather than personal failure. With compassionate care, evidence-based treatment, and healthy coping strategies, teens can learn to manage stress and emotional challenges in safer, more sustainable ways.

At Big Sky Treatment, adolescents are supported through a holistic and experiential approach designed to help them recover, grow, and thrive. Contact us today to learn how our adolescent programs can support your family.

• American Psychological Association. (2015). Self-injury. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2015/07-08/self-injury
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Violence prevention about. https://www.cdc.gov/violence-prevention/about/index.html
• KidsHealth. (2024). Resisting cutting. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html
• National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2024). Psychotherapy. https://www.nami.org/about-mental-illness/treatments/psychotherapy/